A number of things have combined in this last week to make me sad. One has been the Hiroshima trip. While it was an amazing experience (great food, lovely shrine, did I say great food?) the peace memorial museum was very moving. I think it should be a mandatory experience for all heads of state, particularly heads of nuclear states. Maybe a mandatory experience for all politicians. Heck, why not for all people? *sigh*
Perhaps a more immediate concern is that my best friend here in Japan is moving away...she has been living downstairs from me all this time, but because she is a public school teacher, she has been reassigned by the government to teach in another city in the prefecture--one that is at least a few hours drive away. I will no longer be able to see her every weekend, go to the library or the supermarket together, etc. As much as I claim that I am a reclusive, anti-social loner, I'm not THAT much of a loner. I'm not made of stone. I will miss her. I've learned a lot from her and I've really valued all the time we've spent together. We are very similar people, and I feel very comfortable with her. I just hope she feels the same way about me (I always wonder, because, you know, it's not like Japanese people would tell you outright if you are boring or inconveniencing them). After she goes, I really won't have any more close friends that I can spend one on one time with here. It doesn't help that I've been feeling the bite of loneliness lately, anyways. This is sort of just salt in the wound.
To make up for it, I must keep myself and my mind occupied. Traveling helps a lot, because at least walking around alone distracts me from being alone, actually, probably better than traveling with people I don't know. All that crafty stuff I do is no good, because I actually have too much mind leftover to think about stuff while I'm knitting. Which makes it good for staying awake in class, but bad for distracting myself from the fact that I am lamely being lonely at home. Yeah yeah, I know I'm whining and wallowing, okay? Everybody does it once in awhile. Cut me some slack. I'm just so tired of solving my own problems all the time, picking myself up all the time, immediately after a problem presents itself. Sometimes you just want to whine about something before immediately jumping to enact some perceived solution. I already know by heart the supremely American mantra of get up off your ass and do something, pick yourself up by the bootstraps. I think I'll be spending lots more time in the afternoon in my twice-monthly dance studio. And I'll start working out again.
And I do have work to do. That stupid speech beckons. Ugh, Japanese! I have so little confidence in the Japanese that I can construct. I can understand a great deal of it now (compared to before), but am afraid of constructing sentences that make no sense, which is usually what happens when I try to express an idea of any complexity. Better stick to the autobiographical. It doesn't have to be perfect or profound, I tell myself.
Anyways, here ends the whining and wallowing about what has been, on the whole, a very lucky thing for me. I'm so grateful, really I am, but we all have ups and downs.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Beppu!
Beppu is in Northern Kyushu, and is a 3hr-ish cheap ferry ride away. It is an onsen (hot springs) resort. So much so that in certain parts of town, the onsen steam is gushing out of the gutters, the sidewalks, everywhere on the ground there's like a little smokestack or chimney. And smells of sulfur-ish. It's quite amazing to see crystals of yellow and greenish stuff...sulfur?...encrusted on the grates in the ground, no doubt an effect from 24-7 onsen steam coming out of those grates.
I think I'm an onsen convert. I think sheer laziness and maybe some remaining nervousness will prevent me from becoming an active onsen-seeker-outer-addict in the future, but I definitely see the appeal now. Especially outdoor onsens (rotemburo) where there's a slight breeze and a gorgeous view...
I think I'm an onsen convert. I think sheer laziness and maybe some remaining nervousness will prevent me from becoming an active onsen-seeker-outer-addict in the future, but I definitely see the appeal now. Especially outdoor onsens (rotemburo) where there's a slight breeze and a gorgeous view...
Friday, March 14, 2008
speech ideas, anyone?
I've been asked to give a speech next month at my local Rotary club, and I accepted without thinking. Now, on top of worrying about correct Japanese, I'm also agonizing over what I should speak about! I've been informed that the "members are the top of the bank, TV, newspapers, and other territories in Matsuyama," which leads me to believe that I will be addressing rather eminent men who are rather advanced in age. It's been a long while since I've had to address an audience that wasn't my peers, and wasn't about my research or some sort of fixed topic. In fact, I can't remember if I've ever done that. I'm at a complete loss. I don't want to waste these people's time, but I can't think of something they might find worthwhile to listen to, coming from someone like me. I have the quaint notion that speeches ought to be educational somehow, but what could I possibly teach them? Some have already had their formative study abroad experiences when they were young; for the rest, I can hardly advocate it as it's a bit impractical while not in school!
Speeches can also just be entertaining and funny, but since that's hard enough in English, I won't even attempt it in Japanese. I don't understand Japanese humor as yet...maybe never.
I can talk about my experiences of Japan--but even if it is from my viewpoint, something I consider to be wondrous and cool will just be everyday and boring to them, most likely. Or I could talk about the US, but what's to talk about really? Again, it's not like these businessmen have never been abroad.
I want to be somewhat educational and enlightening without sounding moralizing and preachy. And without spending tooo much time encouraging them to donate money to Fulbright (which I definitely will put in there, subtly, somewhere near the end).
Some thoughts so far:
Maybe a thoughtful treatment of what it means to have culture. Visible vs invisible culture, how I find it so fascinating how visible Japanese tradition is (shrines, architecture, kimonos, theater) and how that's made me evaluate American culture, which was something I considered basically didn't exist or was invisible in some way. It's certainly not as old, but instead of kabuki and noh we have musical theater, opera (not strictly American, but of a Western tradition nonetheless). Instead of oden and tako-yaki, we have french fries, hot dogs, burgers. And we have baseball, which I'm not into, but is nothing if not American. But we don't go around dressed in colonial wear much. I suppose colonial-ish architecture is still around...some cathedrals, as well...Why does it feel different? So yeah, I have nothing much insightful to say on this topic yet.
Cultural appropriation. I got asked, "You have Disney in America, right?" (Person in question thought maybe it was of British origin). I'm sure if I tried to remember harder, there were other examples of people being surprised that something was American in origin rather than Japanese or from some other country.
Something about encouraging people to take breaks. The wonders of rejuvenation. Don't discourage your grandkids from taking years off to do something interesting and worthwhile in the middle of their studies. It sort of devolves into taking risks, getting outside of one's comfort zone, finding a real-world passion, combating arrogance, developing empathy, broadening horizons, all kinds of other cliche preachy stuff. :-\
That's it, no more ideas. What would these people be interested in hearing from me?
Oh, and apparently, Powerpoint is okay. That poses a whole other problem like, what could I put in a Powerpoint for this kind of a speech? hah.
Speeches can also just be entertaining and funny, but since that's hard enough in English, I won't even attempt it in Japanese. I don't understand Japanese humor as yet...maybe never.
I can talk about my experiences of Japan--but even if it is from my viewpoint, something I consider to be wondrous and cool will just be everyday and boring to them, most likely. Or I could talk about the US, but what's to talk about really? Again, it's not like these businessmen have never been abroad.
I want to be somewhat educational and enlightening without sounding moralizing and preachy. And without spending tooo much time encouraging them to donate money to Fulbright (which I definitely will put in there, subtly, somewhere near the end).
Some thoughts so far:
Maybe a thoughtful treatment of what it means to have culture. Visible vs invisible culture, how I find it so fascinating how visible Japanese tradition is (shrines, architecture, kimonos, theater) and how that's made me evaluate American culture, which was something I considered basically didn't exist or was invisible in some way. It's certainly not as old, but instead of kabuki and noh we have musical theater, opera (not strictly American, but of a Western tradition nonetheless). Instead of oden and tako-yaki, we have french fries, hot dogs, burgers. And we have baseball, which I'm not into, but is nothing if not American. But we don't go around dressed in colonial wear much. I suppose colonial-ish architecture is still around...some cathedrals, as well...Why does it feel different? So yeah, I have nothing much insightful to say on this topic yet.
Cultural appropriation. I got asked, "You have Disney in America, right?" (Person in question thought maybe it was of British origin). I'm sure if I tried to remember harder, there were other examples of people being surprised that something was American in origin rather than Japanese or from some other country.
Something about encouraging people to take breaks. The wonders of rejuvenation. Don't discourage your grandkids from taking years off to do something interesting and worthwhile in the middle of their studies. It sort of devolves into taking risks, getting outside of one's comfort zone, finding a real-world passion, combating arrogance, developing empathy, broadening horizons, all kinds of other cliche preachy stuff. :-\
That's it, no more ideas. What would these people be interested in hearing from me?
Oh, and apparently, Powerpoint is okay. That poses a whole other problem like, what could I put in a Powerpoint for this kind of a speech? hah.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
A sunny and beautiful day! despite research woes
Yes! Today I get to break out my flip flops and waltz down the street not wearing socks or a jacket. It's sunny and warm and beautiful. I walked to work instead of biking to enjoy the outdoors. On days ands moods like this I feel dreamy again, like maybe I COULD be a novelist, a creative person. It's so lovely. And the only reason I'm going to work today is so I can use the printer to print out travel reservation confirmations. Traveling! It will make me broke. Next week will be Beppu, in Kyushu. The week after, Hiroshima. And now I'm planning the week after in Nara, for the cherry blossom season. If only I could get an affordable room...I don't know anybody in Nara and generally speaking I hate to impose on people...
As for the research woes. Last night I had to give a talk about my research. The only thing close to being done enough to talk about was my ROC BMI Metabolic Syndrome stuff. So that's what I put together. I tried really hard, honest! I tried to make my Japanese good. I practiced. I haven't tried this hard for a presentation in awhile. Maybe since working in the Sykes' lab. The foreign language thing was a twist, as I learned the Japanese words for things like cross-sectional and longitudinal study. Not to mention population attributable risk percentage.
And yet, it was horrifically awful. I wasn't prepared, and I didn't know what to expect. And I felt hung out to dry, as usual, by my advisor. So I didn't know exactly who the audience would be. I had the impression that it would be mostly other students of his. And given the quality of my advisor and his students, I wasn't especially worried or embarrassed by my work. It turns out that basically while I was in a room full of people, the only person who was really my audience was the new department chair of the public health department over at the medical school. Yikes. I met him and I felt the intellectual level in the room rise...a LOT. Apparently he considers as his mentor a Professor Czeisler of Sleep Medicine at Harvard--the very same awesome Professor Czeisler that I'd had for my circadian rhythms class. It's a small world after all!
*Sigh* So mainly, I didn't know what to expect or who I was talking to or the gravitas of the situation I guess? But I wouldn't have minded if this particular piece of research were something I was proud of. It's not. I've basically started from scratch this year, with nothing, nothing! nothing! about this field under my belt. Not even techniques (of the statistical sort). Just me and whatever I can get for free on Pubmed, a textbook and my critical thinking brain. Which is not too bad. But still, I know that this particular piece of research I presented isn't that important (the question has already been thoughtfully investigated in a number of other ways) and isn't particularly well executed (me! newbie! no idea what I'm doing!. I'm treating this thing as a learning exercise, to see what I can do and learn in a kind of hands-on way. And basically I couldn't count on my advisor at all. Maybe it's a good experience for me? I'm a bit used to having someone to count on to back me up in what I'm doing or saying to people like department chairs. You know, like an actual advisor. Yeah, no help coming from his corner.
On top of the embarrassing piece of research, the critiquing professor (who was pretty nice after all, when all's considered) often said things about my Japanese translation which was helpful, but I couldn't always understand. So then he resorted to English, which was quite humiliating for me, at least. He was like...well, did you adjust for these factors, did you calculate the odds ratios for multiple conditions together (which I did, and can't remember anything too interesting about it except that it wasn't spectacular, which was another embarrassing point since I didn't remember my own research!), and I couldn't always understand his explanations for why he was asking those things. grr
So yeah, I went home with that feeling like ouch! embarrassed myself in front of a super smart person. Yikes.
But there was a big dinner party later, and he took a few moments to talk about Matsuyama and how it was a good authentic experience for me, etc. He seems great. I'd love to see him around more often and work with him, except that he's far away on the med school campus that I have no idea how to get to. And I'm sure he's got his hands full with his new position, so...hate to impose. Yeah, those are lame excuses. I know.
As for the research woes. Last night I had to give a talk about my research. The only thing close to being done enough to talk about was my ROC BMI Metabolic Syndrome stuff. So that's what I put together. I tried really hard, honest! I tried to make my Japanese good. I practiced. I haven't tried this hard for a presentation in awhile. Maybe since working in the Sykes' lab. The foreign language thing was a twist, as I learned the Japanese words for things like cross-sectional and longitudinal study. Not to mention population attributable risk percentage.
And yet, it was horrifically awful. I wasn't prepared, and I didn't know what to expect. And I felt hung out to dry, as usual, by my advisor. So I didn't know exactly who the audience would be. I had the impression that it would be mostly other students of his. And given the quality of my advisor and his students, I wasn't especially worried or embarrassed by my work. It turns out that basically while I was in a room full of people, the only person who was really my audience was the new department chair of the public health department over at the medical school. Yikes. I met him and I felt the intellectual level in the room rise...a LOT. Apparently he considers as his mentor a Professor Czeisler of Sleep Medicine at Harvard--the very same awesome Professor Czeisler that I'd had for my circadian rhythms class. It's a small world after all!
*Sigh* So mainly, I didn't know what to expect or who I was talking to or the gravitas of the situation I guess? But I wouldn't have minded if this particular piece of research were something I was proud of. It's not. I've basically started from scratch this year, with nothing, nothing! nothing! about this field under my belt. Not even techniques (of the statistical sort). Just me and whatever I can get for free on Pubmed, a textbook and my critical thinking brain. Which is not too bad. But still, I know that this particular piece of research I presented isn't that important (the question has already been thoughtfully investigated in a number of other ways) and isn't particularly well executed (me! newbie! no idea what I'm doing!. I'm treating this thing as a learning exercise, to see what I can do and learn in a kind of hands-on way. And basically I couldn't count on my advisor at all. Maybe it's a good experience for me? I'm a bit used to having someone to count on to back me up in what I'm doing or saying to people like department chairs. You know, like an actual advisor. Yeah, no help coming from his corner.
On top of the embarrassing piece of research, the critiquing professor (who was pretty nice after all, when all's considered) often said things about my Japanese translation which was helpful, but I couldn't always understand. So then he resorted to English, which was quite humiliating for me, at least. He was like...well, did you adjust for these factors, did you calculate the odds ratios for multiple conditions together (which I did, and can't remember anything too interesting about it except that it wasn't spectacular, which was another embarrassing point since I didn't remember my own research!), and I couldn't always understand his explanations for why he was asking those things. grr
So yeah, I went home with that feeling like ouch! embarrassed myself in front of a super smart person. Yikes.
But there was a big dinner party later, and he took a few moments to talk about Matsuyama and how it was a good authentic experience for me, etc. He seems great. I'd love to see him around more often and work with him, except that he's far away on the med school campus that I have no idea how to get to. And I'm sure he's got his hands full with his new position, so...hate to impose. Yeah, those are lame excuses. I know.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Tokyo!!!!
I've been back from Tokyo for a few days now, but I've actually been quite busy piloting the Japanese version of my survey and unfortunately preparing a presentation in Japanese on my research. Not exactly fun stuff.
In contrast to my 5-day trip to Tokyo! Which was totally awesome! Despite having to spend 13 hours on a bus each way. But hey, you get what you pay for. So, various thoughts, more or less in chronological order.
Thursday:
A quick trip around Senso-ji in the earlyish hours of the morning, after my arrival. After all, nothing is open until after 10am, except for temples. I dropped my stuff off at my hostel in the Asakusa area, and headed over to the neighboring temple. Pretty, peaceful, got me a little charm to help me "realize my heart's wish." Then, a quick yarn hop ending with a stroll up and down Omotesando and eating fantastically yummy Kyushu style ramen. Really, I didn't think ramen was anything special until I had this bowl. It was amaaazing and giving me some incentive to go visit Kyushu. And finally, to cap off the day, I got all dressed up and met a Toyota bigwig, a managing officer. Despite everyone's reassurances that the meeting would probably be in English, nope! It was in Japanese. And because I am an idiot, despite some amount of preparation in thinking through what I would say during this meeting, it didn't happen at all the way I anticipated and I ended up sounding like a stammering jabbering idiot, anyways. I also realized, 10 minutes before leaving for the meeting, that I forgot to bring some omiyage (souvenirs) from Matsuyama and had to fall for recourse on the Godiva chocolatier that was thankfully downstairs from the JUSEC office. I doubt it made much of a difference in ameliorating the faux pas, considering its lameness in not being from Matsuyama. Oh well. I did get invited to go visit their factory in Nagoya, and so hopefully I can do that and learn some more about the company.
Friday:
First, the conference. After a nice evening with the Fellows, I then met everyone else at the conference where we pow-wowed about our year. Of course, there being 15 of us, mostly very talkative, it took awhile. Even though we read each other's reports and all, I found that seeing everybody face to face was very nice. I actually would have liked to shift focus a bit more from the conceptual to discussing more concrete measures we could take to improve our productivity and to "make every day count." But alas, we didn't get that far. But overall, I think the conference was great, and I came away quite reinvigorated to carry on my research.
Another issue that came up for a lot of people was the issue of Japanese-ness, Asian-ness, etc. in Japan. Some of the fellows talked about struggling with when and with whom to be more Japanese, and when and with whom to act the American. It started me thinking more in depth about why I didn't apply to do a Fulbright in China being more Chinese than Japanese. I think being in Japan is sort of more liberating than China, in a sense. I have enough of a connection to Japan to make it exciting and meaningful, but not enough to really identify with Japanese-ness in myself in any way. On the other hand, my Chinese-ness is constantly reaching out to get me whenever I'm in China. Even though it's a hopeless cause, I'm always trying to "fit in" somehow whenever I'm in China (mostly to avoid getting ripped off). I don't even try in Japan, really, and occasionally I'm mistaken for being Japanese or at least fluent in Japanese. Everything in China seems to implicate me somehow, whether it's pollution, corruption, manners or lack thereof, anything and everything. It's like being embarassed of your lover. Hearing China criticized is the same way, it's like hearing someone badmouthing your significant other. Even if the critic is right, even if China really is polluted and corrupt and dirty, the hackles rise in a guttural emotional way because I still feel like it's an indirect attack on me. Even though I have nothing to do with China as it is really and I can't help being of Chinese descent and I'm American for God's sake! So there's that sense of implication, of identity confusion, of Chinese-ness reaching out its hands to claim me for its own. Fit in! Be Chinese! These are your roots! These are your people! Etc.
No such complications in Japan. I can be a more objective observer and delight in my discoveries and criticize its shortcomings without feeling implicated or guilty. And I can escape some of the identity confusions. Though I always have to explain that I'm Chinese-American and explain what that means, there's nothing interfering with my primary self-identification as American.
Enough of that stuff. Then Friday evening, WICKED!! I saw Wicked in Tokyo because Rick, my friend from high school, is working on it. I wasn't sure how it would work, but it did turn out to be an identical production translated into Japanese. I feel so lame, but it made me cry. Multiple times. The people sitting around me must have thought I was crazy. Just the opening number made me cry. It was odd because the production was identical, but I was comprehending the Japanese at the same time as remembering what the English words were supposed to be, and remembering my first experience seeing the show, which was 5 years ago the last time I saw Rick. Yeah. Tons of sniffles.
But, it was lovely to see Rick again, and he was an awesome host. Later I rushed to meet up with the Fulbright fellows again (and our director) for a quick beer before closing time. Managed to get off at the wrong station once, but otherwise made it in time for Rick to meet some of them and again, to say goodbye to many of them for the time being.
Saturday:
Day on my own, spent in Kichijoji doing more of the yarn thing, then Shinjuku and Ginza and Akihabara for dinner. Anyways, so I HAD to stop by Yuzawaya in Kichijoji, which turned out to be everything it was cracked up to be. Huge emporium, big half of a floor devoted to all kinds of yarn, including the first Noro I've see in Japan. And...gorgeous, gorgeous 50% cashmere 50% silk yarn. Ah! Couldn't resist. Also had to get the whole set of cute and useful 30cm plastic circulars, and finally a set crochet hooks for those pesky dropped stitches and zillions of stitches to be picked up. I was all yarned out and didn't even make it to Avril (aka Habu textiles), so I just spent a few more hours wandering around the Kichijoji neighborhood, which I really loved. It's small, cute, boutiquey. Definitely want to go back next time I'm in Tokyo.
Then Shinjuku, wandering around. Not terribly impressed, but by then it was already dark. Lots of food places, cheap places, flashy young clothing (ugh) and I dunno. General uncuteness. (It was better on Monday when I visited with Rick. Apparently I was wandering around the wrong area of Shinjuku). Then Ginza to pass some time before meeting up with Rick again, and by then it was dark and late and everything was closed. But I did see lots of amazing store fronts and very high end stores. Meh. Nothing I can afford or would buy even if I could, anyways, so...yeah. Kichijoji wins for neighborhood with the most personality, I think.
Then, dinner with Rick in Akihabara, at the top of Yodobashi at a Chinese restaurant. OMG!!!! GOOD CHINESE FOOD!!! totally hard to come by in Japan. They are known for their Dandan noodles, or spicy Szechuan style noodles. MmmMmmm.
Saturday was ALL ABOUT DISNEY!!
Rick is a big Disney fan and has been since I could remember him, so of course we went to Disney. I picked DisneySea instead of DisneyLand, because apparently DisneySea is a unique experience only in Tokyo. Ordinarily it would not occur to me to spend a day at Disneyland, but with Rick's buoyant enthusiasm, I had a great time. Because he goes several times a week, he's got all the insider information, the ins and outs, the knowhow about avoiding lines, which lines are worth waiting for, what food is good, etc. It was sooo incredibly relaxing to just put away the maps and the planning and to go along with the ride, doing anything worth doing. Disney really is quite magical. Entering the park is certainly entering a different world, getting away for a day. I can see it being addictive! The landscape, of course, is a different world. It requires a bit of a suspension of disbelief and a kind of acceptance of man-made artificiality (a la Las Vegas, which I know lots of people really dislike), but nonetheless I enjoyed myself. We ran around all day and did pretty much everything--all the big rides, and some of the small ones too. Yeah. Happy. I was really smiley all day. I think you can see on the pictures Rick posted--just exuberantly smiley and happy. Okay, enough gushing about Disney.
Monday's highlights included Kabuki theater and the Imperial Palace. Yeah. Rick and I went to one act of a Kabuki show which was about 45 minutes long and made of three separate dances. I won't even go into that much, except that I enjoyed it a lot, especially the female dances. As someone appreciative of traditional Japanese dance, seeing Kabuki in a theater was incredibly exciting to me. Also, the English explanations broadcasted through headphone receivers were really useful too :-D
Then, we had MEXICAN FOOD for lunch!!!! AHHHHH!!! I have been in mexican food withdrawal for awhile now. It's like...a visceral need, and there is NO MEXICAN FOOD IN MATSUYAMA. Yayyy El Torito!! Finally, an afternoon stroll through the outer grounds of the Imperial Palace. Right in the middle of a ridiculously busy city (okay, I don't know if it's the middle, but it feels like it) there's this huge huge space full of trees that's almost completely dead silent. In it's own way, like Disney it's a different world. The difference is you can see the cars rushing by and the sky scrapers just maybe a few hundred meters away, but you're standing in gravel surrounded by trees and it's nearly silent. It was amazing. Couldn't get very close though :-(
Phew! Done. I had a great couple of days, especially since Rick was such a hospitable host. It was so great to catch up with him and talk to him about Japan, theater, and all kinds of random stuff. Yep. I've changed my mind about hating Tokyo :-P If only it weren't so expensive to go there...
In contrast to my 5-day trip to Tokyo! Which was totally awesome! Despite having to spend 13 hours on a bus each way. But hey, you get what you pay for. So, various thoughts, more or less in chronological order.
Thursday:
A quick trip around Senso-ji in the earlyish hours of the morning, after my arrival. After all, nothing is open until after 10am, except for temples. I dropped my stuff off at my hostel in the Asakusa area, and headed over to the neighboring temple. Pretty, peaceful, got me a little charm to help me "realize my heart's wish." Then, a quick yarn hop ending with a stroll up and down Omotesando and eating fantastically yummy Kyushu style ramen. Really, I didn't think ramen was anything special until I had this bowl. It was amaaazing and giving me some incentive to go visit Kyushu. And finally, to cap off the day, I got all dressed up and met a Toyota bigwig, a managing officer. Despite everyone's reassurances that the meeting would probably be in English, nope! It was in Japanese. And because I am an idiot, despite some amount of preparation in thinking through what I would say during this meeting, it didn't happen at all the way I anticipated and I ended up sounding like a stammering jabbering idiot, anyways. I also realized, 10 minutes before leaving for the meeting, that I forgot to bring some omiyage (souvenirs) from Matsuyama and had to fall for recourse on the Godiva chocolatier that was thankfully downstairs from the JUSEC office. I doubt it made much of a difference in ameliorating the faux pas, considering its lameness in not being from Matsuyama. Oh well. I did get invited to go visit their factory in Nagoya, and so hopefully I can do that and learn some more about the company.
Friday:
First, the conference. After a nice evening with the Fellows, I then met everyone else at the conference where we pow-wowed about our year. Of course, there being 15 of us, mostly very talkative, it took awhile. Even though we read each other's reports and all, I found that seeing everybody face to face was very nice. I actually would have liked to shift focus a bit more from the conceptual to discussing more concrete measures we could take to improve our productivity and to "make every day count." But alas, we didn't get that far. But overall, I think the conference was great, and I came away quite reinvigorated to carry on my research.
Another issue that came up for a lot of people was the issue of Japanese-ness, Asian-ness, etc. in Japan. Some of the fellows talked about struggling with when and with whom to be more Japanese, and when and with whom to act the American. It started me thinking more in depth about why I didn't apply to do a Fulbright in China being more Chinese than Japanese. I think being in Japan is sort of more liberating than China, in a sense. I have enough of a connection to Japan to make it exciting and meaningful, but not enough to really identify with Japanese-ness in myself in any way. On the other hand, my Chinese-ness is constantly reaching out to get me whenever I'm in China. Even though it's a hopeless cause, I'm always trying to "fit in" somehow whenever I'm in China (mostly to avoid getting ripped off). I don't even try in Japan, really, and occasionally I'm mistaken for being Japanese or at least fluent in Japanese. Everything in China seems to implicate me somehow, whether it's pollution, corruption, manners or lack thereof, anything and everything. It's like being embarassed of your lover. Hearing China criticized is the same way, it's like hearing someone badmouthing your significant other. Even if the critic is right, even if China really is polluted and corrupt and dirty, the hackles rise in a guttural emotional way because I still feel like it's an indirect attack on me. Even though I have nothing to do with China as it is really and I can't help being of Chinese descent and I'm American for God's sake! So there's that sense of implication, of identity confusion, of Chinese-ness reaching out its hands to claim me for its own. Fit in! Be Chinese! These are your roots! These are your people! Etc.
No such complications in Japan. I can be a more objective observer and delight in my discoveries and criticize its shortcomings without feeling implicated or guilty. And I can escape some of the identity confusions. Though I always have to explain that I'm Chinese-American and explain what that means, there's nothing interfering with my primary self-identification as American.
Enough of that stuff. Then Friday evening, WICKED!! I saw Wicked in Tokyo because Rick, my friend from high school, is working on it. I wasn't sure how it would work, but it did turn out to be an identical production translated into Japanese. I feel so lame, but it made me cry. Multiple times. The people sitting around me must have thought I was crazy. Just the opening number made me cry. It was odd because the production was identical, but I was comprehending the Japanese at the same time as remembering what the English words were supposed to be, and remembering my first experience seeing the show, which was 5 years ago the last time I saw Rick. Yeah. Tons of sniffles.
But, it was lovely to see Rick again, and he was an awesome host. Later I rushed to meet up with the Fulbright fellows again (and our director) for a quick beer before closing time. Managed to get off at the wrong station once, but otherwise made it in time for Rick to meet some of them and again, to say goodbye to many of them for the time being.
Saturday:
Day on my own, spent in Kichijoji doing more of the yarn thing, then Shinjuku and Ginza and Akihabara for dinner. Anyways, so I HAD to stop by Yuzawaya in Kichijoji, which turned out to be everything it was cracked up to be. Huge emporium, big half of a floor devoted to all kinds of yarn, including the first Noro I've see in Japan. And...gorgeous, gorgeous 50% cashmere 50% silk yarn. Ah! Couldn't resist. Also had to get the whole set of cute and useful 30cm plastic circulars, and finally a set crochet hooks for those pesky dropped stitches and zillions of stitches to be picked up. I was all yarned out and didn't even make it to Avril (aka Habu textiles), so I just spent a few more hours wandering around the Kichijoji neighborhood, which I really loved. It's small, cute, boutiquey. Definitely want to go back next time I'm in Tokyo.
Then Shinjuku, wandering around. Not terribly impressed, but by then it was already dark. Lots of food places, cheap places, flashy young clothing (ugh) and I dunno. General uncuteness. (It was better on Monday when I visited with Rick. Apparently I was wandering around the wrong area of Shinjuku). Then Ginza to pass some time before meeting up with Rick again, and by then it was dark and late and everything was closed. But I did see lots of amazing store fronts and very high end stores. Meh. Nothing I can afford or would buy even if I could, anyways, so...yeah. Kichijoji wins for neighborhood with the most personality, I think.
Then, dinner with Rick in Akihabara, at the top of Yodobashi at a Chinese restaurant. OMG!!!! GOOD CHINESE FOOD!!! totally hard to come by in Japan. They are known for their Dandan noodles, or spicy Szechuan style noodles. MmmMmmm.
Saturday was ALL ABOUT DISNEY!!
Rick is a big Disney fan and has been since I could remember him, so of course we went to Disney. I picked DisneySea instead of DisneyLand, because apparently DisneySea is a unique experience only in Tokyo. Ordinarily it would not occur to me to spend a day at Disneyland, but with Rick's buoyant enthusiasm, I had a great time. Because he goes several times a week, he's got all the insider information, the ins and outs, the knowhow about avoiding lines, which lines are worth waiting for, what food is good, etc. It was sooo incredibly relaxing to just put away the maps and the planning and to go along with the ride, doing anything worth doing. Disney really is quite magical. Entering the park is certainly entering a different world, getting away for a day. I can see it being addictive! The landscape, of course, is a different world. It requires a bit of a suspension of disbelief and a kind of acceptance of man-made artificiality (a la Las Vegas, which I know lots of people really dislike), but nonetheless I enjoyed myself. We ran around all day and did pretty much everything--all the big rides, and some of the small ones too. Yeah. Happy. I was really smiley all day. I think you can see on the pictures Rick posted--just exuberantly smiley and happy. Okay, enough gushing about Disney.
Monday's highlights included Kabuki theater and the Imperial Palace. Yeah. Rick and I went to one act of a Kabuki show which was about 45 minutes long and made of three separate dances. I won't even go into that much, except that I enjoyed it a lot, especially the female dances. As someone appreciative of traditional Japanese dance, seeing Kabuki in a theater was incredibly exciting to me. Also, the English explanations broadcasted through headphone receivers were really useful too :-D
Then, we had MEXICAN FOOD for lunch!!!! AHHHHH!!! I have been in mexican food withdrawal for awhile now. It's like...a visceral need, and there is NO MEXICAN FOOD IN MATSUYAMA. Yayyy El Torito!! Finally, an afternoon stroll through the outer grounds of the Imperial Palace. Right in the middle of a ridiculously busy city (okay, I don't know if it's the middle, but it feels like it) there's this huge huge space full of trees that's almost completely dead silent. In it's own way, like Disney it's a different world. The difference is you can see the cars rushing by and the sky scrapers just maybe a few hundred meters away, but you're standing in gravel surrounded by trees and it's nearly silent. It was amazing. Couldn't get very close though :-(
Phew! Done. I had a great couple of days, especially since Rick was such a hospitable host. It was so great to catch up with him and talk to him about Japan, theater, and all kinds of random stuff. Yep. I've changed my mind about hating Tokyo :-P If only it weren't so expensive to go there...
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